Posts Tagged ‘Bonus Check’

In the end, your butt is still gonna be sore

Recently, I received a bonus at work, yaaaay, and having been disappointed that most of my meager income tax return had been delegated to bills, ugh, I planned to treat myself with at least part of this check.  Before that precious piece of paper was even in my hands, half was set aside for a bill and the other half was set aside for a brand new shiny bicycle.  I wasn’t yet sure if I wanted a stationery bike or one that could roam the hills and dales, but I knew I needed exercise in a bad way and since cycling is something I enjoy, I decided it would be the most painless way to tend to a painful task, weight loss.  You see, my doctor has decided that I’m among the gazillions of Americans who are stuffing too many carbs in their mouths while getting too little exercise.  What?  Does chocolate have carbs?

For days prior to the big event, I scoured the Internet for information on various types of bikes.  Being a bicycle shop snob with a Wal-Mart budget, I checked out the discount stores but hoped to find an affordable option at a bicycle shop or an affordable stationery bike from the website of my employer.  I wanted to be prepared to spend my check immediately.  No dillydallying around for me.  I anticipated having my fanny on the seat of a bicycle (or at least having an order placed) within a few hours of that check hitting my bank account.  Not that I’m impatient or anything . 

When the big day finally arrived, not only did I receive a check but I was also given a new middle name (a story for another time) and who could ask for more, right?  I held my envelope and savored it for several minutes before I excitedly tore into it and quickly became sick to my stomach.  Aghast, I realized that I had grossly underestimated the handfuls of dough that the IRS and the Arizona Department of Revenue would grub from my bonus.  A gift, a well-intentioned and well-deserved gift, yet the IRS believes that it has the right to 25 percent of it, not to forget the nearly broke state of Arizona that hungrily ate up about 12 percent.

Alas, disheartened but not broken (and still grateful for what I had been given), I visited the first bike shop.  Upon learning that the least expensive bicycle in the store was a hundred dollars more than my new budget allowed, I wandered on over to my local Wal-Mart and settled on a reasonably priced Comfort Bike, the kind with the oversized fluffy seat, big tires and lots of shock absorbers to cushion my aching, aging joints from the inevitable blows of the trail.  Part of me is still a bike shop snob and is certain that all of the other bike shop snobs out there will be quietly making fun of me and my shiny new cruiser, but most of me is just grateful to have a bike to ride and plans to enjoy every minute of it.  Not only that, but, after my first two times out, I am “comforted” to learn that no matter what type of bicycle or stationery bike you get, how much you spend, or where you purchase it, in the end, your butt is still gonna be sore when you ride it for the first time.